Friday, January 21, 2011

Lost


January is even a harder month this year than usual.

You see, my dear sweet Mother is at a hospice house now.
I used to call her and jabber away at her every single night. We'd chat about the family, the kids, the weather, how messy dogs can be - especially in the winter, what's for dinner, my work friends -- just about anything and everything.

And now, she is fading away from me, from all of us.
What will I do without her?
She's in my dreams and my heart always, but I am feeling very lost.

24 comments:

Jodee Leader said...

Jan -- My heart is breaking for you and your family right now. I know how much you adore your mom, and especially your daily chats. I will continue to keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

Number 6 and no more counting! said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Number 6 and no more counting! said...

I was right where you are this time last year. An admission to palliative care seems so disheartening. Keep your chin up.

Love to you my friend! Lots of love to you.

Lea
xo

paige said...

oh sweet janet...how tender this must have been for you to share. i am so sorry. there are many days when i question or wonder why aging is often times painful to watch, not always graceful as we'd like for it to be.
i'm so sorry your mom is currently in this situation. i know she must sense your love when you are together....
praying for you during this hard month

much love friend

Half Gaelic, Half Garlic! said...

I am so sorry Janet. I can't imagine what you are going through right now.

Know that you and your Mom are in our thoughts and prayers at this difficult and painful time.

Sending lots of love and hugs,

Lisa

Love Letters To China said...

I'm so sorry to hear about your mother. I can't even imagine the pain you must feel. I have the same relationship you speak of with my mom. She is one of my best friends. It saddens me to even think of her not being there when I need her the most.

My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Grace

Courtney said...

I am so sorry to hear that. Keeping you guys in my thoughts and prayers.

Gail said...

My prayers are with you and your family now and in the coming weeks.
I'm so sorry.

With love and hugs,

Gail

S.Wise said...

Janet, my heart breaks for you. I pray you find peace and comfort.... so easy for me to say. Please know I am thinking of you. Hang in there. Stephanie

Missy said...

Oh sweet friend, I had no idea! I am going to keep you very close in prayer right now and in the days ahead. Bless your heart. So sorry and wish I could come and hug your neck or take you for coffee and just listen. BIG HUGS!

TanyaLea said...

oh Janet, my heart breaks for you during this difficult time. I cannot even begin to imagine the level of confusion and pain you must be feeling right now. Like you, my mom is one of my closest friends, and it is so hard for me to even 'think' of her not being here. I would be 'lost' too. Hang in there and know you are in our thoughts and prayers. Praying for God's to wrap His mighty arms around both you and your precious mom during this time.

love and hugs,
~ Tanya

Kim K. said...

I'm so sorry, Janet. Please know that you both are in my prayers.

Lucy said...

Oh my. My heart is breaking for you Janet. I can't imagine this... I talk to my mother every single day too and the thought of that being gone is so hard to imagine. I am thinking of you and your mother. Hugs, Lucy

Laura L. said...

I am so sorry. I cannot imagine the pain you are feeling. I will pray for you, her, and your family.

Lisa said...

I am so sorry to hear this. My heart, thoughts and prayers are with you.

Coach Nancy said...

Dear Janet, Oh how I remember those days as today is the 6th anniversary of my Mom's passing. The memory of your mom will be as it is to me - a constant blessing because she is a wonderful mom ... many women have done well but she excels them all...Proverbs 31:29 Your Mom & all of you will be in my prayers. Love, Nancy

Laurie said...

I am so sorry to hear about your mom. I'll be saying a prayer for you, and for your family, tonight. God bless.

Kim said...

I am sorry to hear this Jan. You will both be in my prayers for peace and comfort. Take care.

Buzzings of a Queen Bee! said...

Janet, I am so sorry for where you are in life right now. I will pray for you and your mom, and the whole family. Let us know how you're doing when you feel up to it.
Love, Carrie

Half Gaelic, Half Garlic! said...

Hi Janet,

Just wanted to pop over again and let you know that I have been thinking of you all week.

I pray that you find strength during this difficult time.

Sending love and prayers your way~

xo,

Lisa

Sharon said...

Janet, I am so very, very sorry. I think all of us have to go through this hard, hard thing in our lives and we never know how we will make it through. I am so glad she has hospice, I hear so many of their workers see amazing things and hear the patients talk of seeing angels and loved ones and even Christ. It makes you know how your separation will be short until you atenwhen her again and I hope this time left is very sweet for you all to help you get through. I am praying and hope you let us know how you are holding up.

kasthurirajam said...

beautiful pic

Bridget said...

Janet-
I was so sad when I read your post. I like you talk to my Mom everyday and can't imagine a day without our phone calls. I am so sorry for you and your family. Please know that you are in my thoughts and prayers. Take care.

- Bridget

Lori said...

Oh Janet, I'm so sorry. Will be thinking of you in the weeks ahead and praying for your family.